The Odditorium

Well, isn’t this exciting! It turns out that voice actor Peter von Gomm, who plays White Bomber in Super Bomberman R, is open to creative collaboration with others, so I sat down and wrote an SBR fanfic (told from White’s POV) for him to narrate and the art to go with it. (Because the thing you do when you haven’t written in a particular canon before is to contact an official voice actor from that canon and ask if they’d want to work on something together with you, right?)

You can see other videos he’s done (as well as more information about collaborating with him) here on YouTube. Also, check out his Instagram!

Be on the lookout for Diary #2, which I will hopefully finish editing Soon, No Really I Mean It This Time, I’ll Stop Holding This Story Hostage For The Purposes Of My Own Insecurities So Please Put Down Your Bombs – 

Below is the original script I sent. Note that there are at least two instances where Peter seems to have made minor changes to it, but it doesn’t really affect the overall story. EDIT: MY BAD, those changes were mine. I was looking at an older version of the script when checking it against the video. /double facepalms

***

DIARY #1: AFTERMATH

Day 62 of Year 30XX. This is White, reporting in!

…not that it would be anyone else recording these diary entries, of course. I don’t know why I always announce myself on these like you’re going to suddenly hear Black babbling about things instead. Can you imagine if he had to do a diary entry? The entire thing would be a book’s worth of words just on how perfect his antenna is. No way are you going to hear him summing up his day and thinking about what he might’ve learned from it. You may as well tell Yellow to stop drawing all over the walls, and we all know how things turned out when I did that. 

(Can you believe the town is still finding crayons in the sewer tunnels, a month and a half later? And apparently a helicopter just spotted some scribbles on a skyscraper window that they missed the first time around. How did Yellow even get up there?! I know he’s climbed some trees that even I won’t touch, but man…)

Oops, I’m getting sidetracked. Sorry. But there’s always a lot to talk about when it comes to my siblings, you know. Never a dull day when it comes to the lives of the Bomberman Bros., that’s for sure!

Speaking of, listen to this. After breakfast this morning, this crazy madman named Buggler showed up on the TV outta nowhere, and declared that he was the new ruler of the universe!

Naturally, we weren’t…or, I guess, I wasn’t…about to let that stand, so we set out for the Starry Sky Solar System, where Buggler had begun his takeover. He’d sent his Five Dastardly Bombers there to keep each planet in the system under his control, and as you can probably imagine from their name, they were pretty tough cookies. Magnet Bomber used magnetic traps to mess with our bombs; Golem Bomber tried to crush us with his brute strength; Phantom Bomber almost got us trapped in cyberspace; Karaoke Bomber practically paralyzed us with her horrible singing, and Plasma Bomber was an unpredictable but skilled bomber-warrior. In the end, though? They were no match for the combined power of the Bomberman Bros.!

But then —

Wh…what the heck was that?! It sounded like a crash from upstairs…ugh, hang on, I’ll be right back. I swear, if Red is picking fights with the birds again…

—

Okay, I’m back. Whew! You’d think we’d all be too tired from a long day of fighting bad guys to start fighting each other, but…

Anyway, where was I? Right, we’d defeated all of the Five Dastardly Bombers. But once we defeated Plasma, we found out that all of the Dastardly Bombers were just scrapped robots that got resurrected and brainwashed by Buggler! And one of those robots? Was our long-lost sister, Pretty! Can you believe it, after all this time? I never thought I’d see her again after that accident…

Oh, yeah — apparently Black and Pretty were arguing upstairs over which of them was, well, prettier. The way Aqua told it, the two of them were going to settle the issue with a singing contest, since Black still refuses to fight girls, but then Red complained about how a singing contest wasn’t exciting enough, and Blue complained that a singing contest was going to keep him from getting any sleep, and Green said he didn’t understand why Black and Pretty were fighting over this because he couldn’t see how Black could be prettier than someone actually named “Pretty,” and Black got mad at that and told Green to stay out of “grown-up business,” and Red told Black that he needed to start taking criticism like a Bomberman, and then Black got mad and kicked Red right in the face, and finally Aqua stepped in and…handled the situation.

That was what that crash was, by the way. Aqua punched Black and Red into the ceiling. Note to self: fix the ceiling tomorrow.

*sigh* You know, I’m glad Pretty’s back with our family again, but if tonight is any indication, that also means I’ve got one more thing on my plate to deal with from now on.

…ah! I never finished talking about Buggler. It turned out that all that stuff with the Dastardly Bombers taking over the planets of the Starry Sky Solar System was just a distraction from Buggler’s real goal, which was to turn Starry Sky’s sun into a black hole large enough to swallow up the entire universe. He merged all of the Dastardly Bombers into a fearsome giant in order to destroy us once and for all, but when that didn’t work, Buggler transformed into his ultimate form, becoming almost as big as the solar system itself. With some help from the freed Dastardly Bombers, though, we took him down, once and for all!

Well…I guess not “once and for all.” Before he faded away, Buggler said that he was created from the evil in the hearts of all life-forms in the universe, and as long as that evil exists, he’ll always return. Figures, right? Not that that’ll change anything for us, of course! Justice always prevails, as I like to say, but it also doesn’t get much sleep, what with always having to keep an eye out for any sign of trouble and all.

The good news is, the black hole disappeared and the sun came back! So Starry Sky is back to normal now. And we are, too. As normal as we can be, anyway.

You know…sometimes I wonder why me and my siblings were made the way we were. Our role is to protect the universe, but we have some serious issues getting along and understanding each other. And that seems kinda weird, doesn’t it? Surely if we’re supposed to protect the universe, we should be working together like a well-oiled machine, with all parts moving like clockwork. But instead, we’re more like a bunch of parts that still need to be assembled.

And I can’t help but think…did our creator make some sort of mistake with us?

Now don’t get me wrong! It’s not that I don’t care about my siblings, or that I don’t see what each of their strengths are, or anything like that. Of course I do! I’m their older brother. That’s what I do.

But if we were created to protect the universe, what possible point could there be to something like Blue’s constant laziness? Or Yellow’s total inability to notice danger? Or Pink’s strange sense of priorities? 

Or…is there something wrong with me…because I can’t see how those things are supposed to help us out…?

Well, I don’t think I’m going to get anywhere worrying about that tonight. Maybe it’s not even that important to know, anyway. We saved the day despite all our problems, and that definitely counts for something. It might even count for everything! Really, when you think about it, it’s amazing that we pulled it off at all! Yeah, we can always do better…but it doesn’t mean that what we did accomplish wasn’t already good to begin with.

*yawn* Oh, boy. I guess that’s my cue to head to bed. I’ve said enough for now, anyway. Peace may have returned to the universe, but it definitely hasn’t returned to our family here on Planet Bomber. Not that it was ever here to begin with, I don’t think.

Anyway, this is White — signing off!